Darryl Tell Celebration of Life Speech

APRIL 30, 2022 - Carlsbad, CA

By Jacob Tell

Photos by Kathy Tell

As optimistically as I operate, it’s critical to acknowledge the range of ones’ emotions. 

So to start I will say that it sucks my dad was diagnosed with a super rare blood cancer. It sucks that my dad suffered. It sucks he didn’t live longer as he told my mom several times that he wasn’t ready to go. It sucks he’s gone; I miss him. It sucks that many of you didn’t have an opportunity to see him recently, or to say goodbye — maybe because of the pandemic, or maybe because of distance. Or that my dad’s wishes to be private about his health kept a sense of urgency from seeping into your psyches like it did the Tell family. Many of you didn’t even know he was sick at all until he had already left us. Part of the human condition; not forecasting our futures.

My gratitude however, runs much deeper than all of this. And it has recently come with ease for me to draw upon silver linings. I mean look at you all, carving out precious springtime — traveling across timezones, some of you from different continents — all to be together, here, to celebrate Darryl Tell.

So yes, it has become natural for me to draw upon silver linings. 

Silver linings like having time in his final months to peer into his upbringing and gain understanding how being “Other” or being “Outsider” could mold his cynical worldview, his appreciation for diversity, his questioning of authority,  and his quest for justice. 

Silver linings like being with my mom, focused solely on her now.  Planning with her and Sarah for our futures. Hell, even doing taxes together gave us a sense of accomplishment that would bring my dad’s mind ease.

Silver linings like hearing stories from strangers or faint acquaintances about the great impact my dad provided them throughout their lives. Stories about the time he went to bat for them, protected them, educated them, or really heard them. Darryl Tell shared moments that genuinely mattered to so many — something I firmly understand, and yet am just beginning to understand.

Silver linings like reconnecting with childhood friends and learning my dad meant something deeper to them than being merely their buddy’s parent. Then recalling fading stories, or finding old photographs, or VHS tapes, and retelling his countlessly retold bad dad jokes.

Silver linings like experiencing palpable moments of sadness and grief with Kerri, which have created profound understanding for each other’s loss and love.

Silver linings like recognizing what my dad has meant to me at various stages of my life. For example, that he’s been my source of “YES AND” energy, encouraging my varied entrepreneurial ventures, and stoking my wild experiments throughout life.

And perhaps the greatest silver lining recognized yet is the lesson shared directly from my dad for us all: to make the most of the moments we are gifted. 

He told me several times in his final months:

“Do not wait. Travel and explore. Experience the world. Find new foods and cultures. Spend time with people you love. Spend more money on life’s experiences, rather than save it for material assets.” 

Or as I recently and often enjoy saying “Do all the things.” 

Upon his passing, this new perspective feels light on my heart. 

• Appreciation for the moment.

• Actively listening to self, the world, and others.

• Being present.

• Seeking wholeness.

• Taking life by the smooth handle.

• Not taking for granted our time with one another.

It really is life to “Do all the things.” Part of the human condition; living in the moment. 

Thank you all for being here to celebrate Darryl Tell.

And finally, to briefly share my words written moments after my dad’s passing on February 13, 2022:

“Thank you, Dad: you inspired, taught, questioned, challenged, illustrated; you gave unconditional love, humor, interest, insight, understanding; you are wise, sincere, brilliant, hilarious, and infinite. I’ll forever carry your spirit and continue to make you proud. I love you.”

Values over Party

January 20, 2021 is quite the significant date in American history. We witnessed the peaceful transfer of power to Joseph R. Biden from his predecessor who decided not to participate in this centuries old American tradition. The peaceful nature of this transition today is juxtaposed freshly in our minds against a merely two week old terrorist attack on the United States Capitol. We witnessed the first female, the first African American and the first Indian American Vice President in Kamala Harris. We witnessed the first Jewish senator from Georgia take office. We witnessed the first Jewish Senate Majority Leader begin his term. And we witness a raw, wounded, divided population, all seeking to be heard and be seen.

The Americana Fabric may not be shredded to bits, but it certainly requires serious mending.

As I search for personal significance in these unprecedented moments of America’s democratic experiment, I realize the values that bring meaning to this collective sigh of relief. There is hope embedded in the values that our new leadership seems already to embody. We will now all unpack and begin to understand our shared PTSD of the last 4 years, despite which side of the aisle we most identify with. And as somebody who does not subscribe to magazines, tout parties, or push fundamentalist perspective, it is truly our human values that bring alignment in truth and action for me, despite party affiliation.

Here are a few that resonate with me, especially in this moment:

Peace • Love • Empathy • Integrity • Compassion • Humor • Optimism • Togetherness • Courage • Innovation • Creativity • Stewardship • Environmentalism • Respect • Unity • Responsibility • Leadership • Science Minded • Learning Agile • Of Service • Selflessness • Humility • Strength • Wisdom • Empowerment • Authenticity • Confidence • Trustworthiness • Positivity

What other values do you identify with? What values did today’s events bring to mind? What values are you hopeful to see in Washington in the coming 4 years, and beyond?

I’m eagerly learning to stitch and sew empathy and listening into the threads and fabrics. Call it a newly acquired quarantine-era skill.

David Attenborough’s Witness Statement: ‘A story of global decline during a single lifetime.’

One of my personal heroes is natural historian, BBC broadcaster, and planet Earth champion Sir David Frederick Attenborough.  If you’re unfamiliar with the mind altering and innovative documentaries that Mr. Attenborough has brought us beginning in 1979, be sure to binge them all.  Some highlights include: Life on Earth, The Living Planet, The Trials of Life, Life in the Freezer, The Private Life of Plants, The Life of Birds, The Life of Mammals, Life in the Undergrowth, Life in Cold Blood, Life on Land, Life on Earth, Planet Earth, Planet Earth II, Blue Planet, Blue Planet II, and many more.

At 93 years young, David Attenborough’s recently released and extremely compelling call to action is presented in documentary form on Netflix “A Life On Our Planet.”  This film moved me to tears.  After 45 minutes presenting the context of how we’ve arrived at this critical moment throughout his life, he presents his witness statement, as authentic as it comes.  His visceral on-screen disappointment in humanity’s trajectory should be seen and felt by all of us — the human race living together on planet Earth. 

I felt compelled to write out each word from Mr. Attenborough’s witness statement as I rewatched and paused this powerful segment presented midway through the documentary.  

Thank you for reading his words below.  I hope you watch the film as well (link at the bottom).

David Attenborough’s Witness Statement.  ‘A story of global decline during a single lifetime.’

Our imprint is now truly global.

Our impact truly profound.

Our blind assault on the planet has finally come to alter the very fundamentals of the living world.

We have overfished 30% of fish stocks to critical levels.

We cut down over 15 billion trees each year.

By damming, polluting, and over-extracting rivers and lakes, we’ve reduced the size of freshwater populations by over 80%

We’re replacing the wild with the tame.

Half of the fertile land on earth is now farm land.

70% of the mass of bird on this planet are domestic birds.  The vast majority chickens.

We account for over one-third of the weight of mammals on earth.  A further 60% are the animals we raise to eat. The rest, from mice to whales, make up just 4%.

This is now our planet, run by humankind for humankind.

There is little left for the rest of the living world.

Since I started filming in the 1950s, on average, wild animal populations have more than halved.  

I look at these images now and I realize that, although as a young man I thought I was out there in the wild experiencing the untouched natural world, it was an illusion.

Those forest and plains and seas were already emptying.

Um, so, the world is not as wild as it was. 

Well, we’ve destroyed it.  Not just ruined it.  I mean, we have completely… destroyed that world….

… But it doesn’t end there. 

If we continue on our current course the damage that has been the defining feature of my lifetime will be eclipsed by the damage coming in the next.

- Sir David Attenborough